The Empathy Mirror

 

I spent a week staring into a mirror.

 

I stabbed daggers into all of the faults. Broke the unpleasant into pieces. I broadcasted all of the flaws that were so clearly evident – the wrongly phrased language, the false assumptions. I attacked viciously with no remorse. At first.

 

The thing about this mirror is that it was you.

It was the people I crossed paths with. It was me.

 

I created this mirror as a way for me to empathize. As I looked at others through this mirror, I discovered versions of myself. I looked through their lens and with it I saw a similar one that I had once held. Out of old habit, I reverted back to the way I would treat this mirror in my youth – the critical attacker.

 

With resentment, I broke you apart – and with that I broke apart myself.

It was past typical destructive behavior suffocating the love and empathy existing in our connection.

I’m right, you’re wrong.

I was lost within our words, between your story and mine clashing. Our blinded lens to each of our own perceptions.

I looked at this mirror again, after the warfare – tasted the blood, the stained guilt.

I saw myself in you again. But this time, I saw me differently.

I saw you differently.

 

A new pathway emerged guiding me towards empathy. I was sensitive to the dark pain in your eyes I couldn’t see before that awakened my own pain. We connected on this beautiful and tragic aspect of being human.

 

I uncovered the love and compassion in this pain. In you, in me. In humanity.

 

I’m a strong advocate for healthy change, for a better way of living, but this can only be generalized to a certain point. We are in our own positions in life – with circumstances, feelings, experiences- a reality that is unique to us. Sometimes, I find myself offering advice to those unwilling to listen – to those who see criticism in my advice. Watching this through the mirror I created, I had been slapped with a different reality that I was blinded. It removed the power and gift I perceived in my words, and replaced them with pain and guilt.

 

I didn’t account for the other person’s perception. I didn’t stop to think of the advice as something that could be harmful – that my words would hurt them. I neglected to empathize with their perception. Through the mirror, I saw myself at seventeen- stubborn and unready for change – clinging to the habits, the quick fixes, that would save me long enough to wake up the next day.

 

Knowledge isn’t necessarily power. Action, execution, living and breathing this knowledge is a different story – and it’s one we can all share with defeat and triumph. I want us to live healthy, meaningful lives. Sometimes this path results from destructive habits, engaging in unhealthy activities that tear our souls apart – in order to recreate us. To offer us a new perspective that gives us meaning.

 

I have been there.

I have tasted this destruction, and I remind myself often enough to give me the insight I can find in it today.

I can’t change people.

I can influence people.

 

We naturally influence those around us – whether we consciously choose to or not. We become examples in their lives – for better or for worse. Look at society, culture. Over time, we are constantly molding the lives of others- the general view of society- and it all starts with one person. One individual. You. Me. This individualistic choice forms into a collective view. A movement of sorts.

 

Our energy is contagious, and we can influence the world around us.

 

 

If we lived a better life for ourselves – in a healthy way – it pours into the souls of those around us. I can relate to this – the destructive habits, the lack of self-love – was not benefiting those in my life, and it was hindering my ability to connect with others and grow as a human being.

 

To those in your life in low moments who are engaging in unhealthy thoughts and behaviors – you can only choose to love them and choose to be a person that can positively influence them. A person they can be inspired by- filled with hope, love, and compassion.

 

A week is a short-time to use this mirror – to stare into the human soul.

 

To acknowledge the pain you may cause others through your own personal actions. To accept that your energy can be hurting those around you – rather than your own belief of healing them.

 

It was difficult to imagine this mirror. To see myself in those around me. Watching my critical nature arise without my own full awareness. Eventually, I couldn’t help but to empathize. To connect with their lens – even when my current self would disagree. I know that I have been in their shoes – or that I could imagine being in them if I hadn’t.

 

Through this mirror, I learned the survival of my past critical nature. Forcing it’s way into my meaningful conversations and connections with others. I will vow to mindfully incorporate empathy in my life – and to practice being aware of this. This mirror was a good starting point.

 

 

How do you incorporate empathy in your life and practice awareness of your connections and influence on others?

 

You may also like to read:

 

Your Courage Is Someone Else’s Courage

This must be what always brings me here. Typing this, sharing myself. My courage can be someone else’s courage, and that means something much more to me.