Starting To Get It Right

 

I don’t know what right is, exactly. Or that I ever will. I do know what it feels like.

 

At least what it feels like for me- in this moment of my life.

 

Today, a sense of awareness knocked into me, stealing my breath to force me to feel, to question if how I was living today was my version of right. It’s so easy to fall into our habits, our day-to-day living. To all of a sudden wake up one day and realize that our last few weeks flew by, that maybe we weren’t as consciously aware of our time and mindful of how we spent it. That we would have spent it differently. It’s easy to stray away from our own version of what right is. Yet, I think that makes it much more rewarding. Forcing us to be conscious in this life – to make decisions and put effort into discovering our right and living it.

 

Two years ago, I opened myself up to learn from this world. Let go of my beliefs – the things I thought I had figured out. I am young, but I know this is a place I want to live from for the rest of my life. To live curiously until the day I die, explore every angle of this life – of our human experience.

 

This was probably the moment that pioneered me towards starting to get it right. I became curious again, something I had lost even at that young of an age. I started to learn all of the lessons I had been avoiding in my life. I opened myself up to learn the wisdom from experiences I hadn’t directly encountered. To explore the viewpoints of others.

 

My right lies within the lens of a five-year-old child, and a perspective of a life lived seventy years. A viewpoint from my 21-year old self looking to take in and feel the wisdom that is around me. What would right feel like to me through each of these lenses?

 

Right is intuitive- real, authentic. Right isn’t always natural or comfortable. It doesn’t always come with ease. Right isn’t always feel good, or looks like happy. Right feels like the Aha! moment, the meaning we can discover even from the darker pieces of our lives.

 

My right dabbles between rationality and intuition, but often steers me more towards intuitive feelings.

 

For me, right feels like creativity. It feels like tension and ease of which it comes to me- and the courageous feeling that comes with putting my work into this world. Right feels like an open and honest connection with a stranger. A warm exchange of words with my mother. Right feels healthy- the vibrancy of life from nourishing foods and a good workout. Right is empowering thoughts and bold decisions. Right is both careless and careful: well-balanced and immersive. Right is the process – not the end result. Taking a leap of courage rather than being frozen in the fear of failure. Right is loving myself – loving others – without expecting it back. Right is open-minded curiosity, and a powerful steadfast direction.

 

Right is feeling wholeheartedly alive.

 

Throughout my life, I had never really felt this overwhelmingly fierce and burning love for this life. For my existence, for the existence of humanity. At least not at this level of conscious awareness. I had spent much of my time in a dark state- feeling out of control and at the mercy of my thoughts. Most often I numbed these feelings, and with that I numbed my ability to feel the love that could exist for this life. The love that could exist for myself and others.

 

Not until I read and connected with a story did I realize that my life didn’t have to be the way that it was. I had to make the choice to live my life healthier in all aspects- in my beliefs, thoughts, nutrition, physical, and spiritual wellness. To form healthy habits and strategies that would predominately lead me to an overall healthier life.

 

The more I feel these sparks from this deep appreciation for life– I know I’m starting to get it right.

 

When sadness and darkness clouds over me, and I can accept and persevere through these moments. Let myself feel without numbing, and understand that this is a part of the human experience. That I can choose to let it move me to something greater. I know I’m starting to get it right.

 

Right isn’t necessarily our societal perception of happy and positive. Right is our own perception of the moments in our lives, our reactions and behaviors to the bad and good. The meaning we choose to seek from these moments. It is being who we are at the core. Discovering that our core, innate being, is one of the same- of compassion. We want to connect with one another.

 

I know I’m getting it right when I’m meeting with new people weekly- when I create a space for people to be open, honest, and utterly themselves. When this space allows me to be me. A space to share our stories and impact one another.

 

I’m getting it right when I choose to use my mind, my story, my voice, and my vision. When I make the leap to be creative and courageous, to share myself through what I write and build.
I’ve had this quote on my vision board for the last year.

 

“ The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.”

– Neil Gaiman

 

 

I hadn’t paid attention to where these words originated. A couple weeks ago, I found myself on a Youtube video of another graduation commencement speech when I actually physically heard these words for the first time.

 

A rushing alertness came over me, a spark.
I created this board to remind me of who I wanted to be, the person I was deep down but had clouded and transformed throughout my life.

 

It was like a missing piece to the puzzle when I heard his following words,

 

 

“The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.”

         – Neil Gaiman

 

Naked.

 

This is exactly how I feel. Exposing my heart and mind, my story.

 

The words on my vision board have manifested into my life, among many other things. I am sharing my voice, my mind, my story, my vision. I am building and writing and living only as I can.

 

I want others to discover this for themselves. I want others to feel this realization that they are finally getting it right. Whatever right is for them. This is another aspect that binds us together. We are in this life, all trying to get our own version of right. This is our human journey, a process and we can’t expect to discover an end result. The ups and downs, the trials and errors, are each a part of our human experience- and they offer us lessons and meaning.

 

What is your version of right, and are you able to actively live from that place?

 

 

 

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Read This If You Don’t Have Enough Time In The Day

Don’t we all need more time? Twenty-four hours a day doesn’t seem to be enough to conquer our long to-do list. I used to live my life thinking I never had enough time. I always had too many things to do. I was tired, stressed, and over-allocated.