Vulnerability In The Face of Stigma

My awareness to the stigmas that exist in this society came to me in a special way. I can’t recall a particular trigger to this revelation, but it all came in like a rush one Spring morning during my senior year at Purdue University. I arose with a heavy feeling in my chest, one that I couldn’t contain. Emotions flooded my mind and I noticed for the first time my subconscious attempt to prevent the outpour.

I thought to myself, why am I holding this back? I am in the comfort of my room with no one watching…

This little hesitation was one I haven’t experienced before. I have cried plenty of times in front of my friends, so I wasn’t scared to be vulnerable with myself. This hesitation came from something much deeper. After the short pause, I brought the walls down and let myself feel the experience.

Most of my writings are inspired by my moments of vulnerability. When I break down and let out the crying. I honestly embrace it now because of how much better it makes me feel letting out the emotional congestion. I do digress a little, so back to my revelation.

This morning what I became aware of was my relationship with my friends and how it differs from my family. I realized that I am transparent about my life to my friends, yet there are many things I didn’t share with my family. These things I kept from them because of my fear to their judgement.

I felt so isolated from my family… they didn’t know the real me. So I hopped on my computer and began to type. I admitted I still smoke weed, even after the disappointment I have put my parents through. I wrote about my experience with psychedelics and how it began with experimentation but then turned into a dependency. I opened up about how heavy the burden was carrying a sexually transmitted disease. I shared all my heartaches, and woes.

I sent the email, called my parents and my dad immediately got in his car to drive down to me. This heroic act lifted me out of the dark clouds. Releasing all this congestion felt like I was taking my breaths for the first time.

My dad arrived a couple hours later and we talked it all out. Got lunch and he returned home. I am so grateful for the love my parents showed me during a weakened state. They gave me no reason to fear my vulnerability. They comforted me with unconditional love. Finally, my parents saw the real me, although they made sure to let me know they have seen the real me since the day I was born.

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Later that day I was able to reflect with a whole new mind. There is a stigma for so many things in this society that are keeping people from being vulnerable. When I visited Mindset Movement I was immediately inspired to reflect on this day. It truly is up to us whether or not to be affected by the stigma. I believe in standing up against them. We need more vulnerability between our friends and family. Everyone carries their own burdens.

Ash Beckham

“There is no harder, there is just hard. We need to stop ranking our hard against everyone else’s hard to make us feel better or worse about our closets and just commiserate on the fact that we all have hard”

-from Ash Beckham’s TED Talk, “We’re all hiding something. Let’s find the courage to open up.”

So now I think about what can be done to create these safe spaces for sharing? I think this is a change that will naturally grow as we touch the lives of others. I have spent a lot of time researching to see what are ways we can encourage others to open up? I think it starts with me.

“Disclosure breeds disclosure” – Corey Blakey

I think the best thing I can do to help others is to help myself. I can lead a transparent life and embrace my vulnerabilities. Showing my friends and family I am not afraid to talk about these subjects and to share experiences in a way that the people around me can feel free of judgement.

I have observed over time that by continuing to disclose my stories to my friends, I become a trusted person to come to for theirs. I understand that even though I share my stories, others wont turn around and do the same right away. But by doing so I become the outlet for friends to share their story when the time is right.

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