Why Aren’t We Talking About It?
Mental illness. I hate that I cringe at the sound of the word.
A mental disorder or mental illness is a wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking, and behavior.
The vague definition contains an umbrella of potential mental issues throughout an even broader range of symptoms. In deep self-reflection, I think we could find each of ourselves on this spectrum at some point in our lives. We are more unified by this definition than we believe.
We all feel emotions (or refrain from feeling), that create or are created by thoughts that translate into our behavior. We may struggle with self-doubt, lack of self-compassion, incontrollable moods, sadness, anger, etc. We may differ in coping through healthy or unhealthy strategies. Throughout our lives, our thinking and behavior continually evolves based on experiences. Our mental health should be a concern to all of us.
What exactly are we afraid of?
Is it the self-perceived weakness that tags along with a label of mental illness? Are we fearful of the unknown judgment from friends, family, and strangers? Is it the negative feeling as we talk about it? Or the feeling of not talking about it? We crave social acceptance, and mental illness hasn’t been perceived as something particular favorable. We want others to believe our lives are great, and that we are worthy of being liked.
But I have a question. Is it not society that sets us up for this? Could it be our fault for remaining silent in the fear of social judgment? Why is it so hard for us to be utterly honest with who we are? I don’t mean that a mental illness defines you, but I mean who we are is created by what we have been through. It encompasses our thoughts, feelings, and perception of this world. It’s similar to the chicken or the egg metaphor. Is it our silence that reinforces the social judgment? Or is it social judgment that reinforces the silence? I know that I am unable to control others, but I can decide what I can do. I am choosing to speak.
And if it takes me being perceived differently to tell you what I have been through, then that’s the first step. Slowly, but surely, if we all take a stand this doesn’t have to be a topic that stays behind closed doors. This may be my desperate attempt to reach out to my younger self. To tell her that it’s okay to feel this way. I yearned for someone to tell me that this is normal. And maybe not in the sense that every person experiences this, but at least someone other than me exists with these feelings and survives with them.
That these feelings aren’t permanent.
If I told you I had suffered with depression that forced me into self-destructive states and suicidal contemplations, would you think of me different?
I’m asking this for your own concern.
Because as I even read those words, I’m judging them. The negative vibe repulses me into almost deleting them. I don’t want to see them, and I really don’t want to be related to them. I would like to believe those thoughts never crossed my mind, but they did. I’ve created a stigma against myself, is that possible?
Do I blame society for this? Or do I blame our natural tendency to detach ourselves from the things we perceive to weigh us down? We disengage ourselves from anything negative, hiding vital pieces of our identity. I should not have to feel the burden of shame for the existence of those thoughts. Because of the extremely dark moments of my life, I am able to see the intense beauty of today.
I’m offering a new perception on the societal blame that exists. A practical solution that starts with me and you. We can change the view on mental health by talking about it. By remaining silent, we reinforce that mental health belongs behind closed doors, which it doesn’t.
If my cousin was living in a world where people embraced vulnerability, where she could speak about her unwelcomed thoughts, she could still be here today. Maybe your uncle, your coworker, your childhood friend, could still be here today.
We all need to start talking about it.
Because we’re losing our loved ones to treatable issues. And I don’t mean just to suicide, I mean we’re losing them today. Depression is forcing them to lose their grasp on how precious life can be. They feel alone in a world full of people experiencing the same issues.
We need to offer them a new perception. We need to offer ourselves a new perception. To show one another that there is pure beauty in vulnerability and courage behind our struggles. There is beauty in their story, and we want to listen to it. There is beauty in our story, and we want to share it. We can dismantle shame and stigma at the root cause of ourselves. We can learn acceptance, loving one another and ourselves throughout the darkness of our thoughts. We can regain hope and contentment of the passing of thoughts.
I want a world that accepts raw.
So here I am, unrefined.
With my vulnerable and unpolished presence,
I am creating the world that accepts raw.