Embracing Vulnerability and Reclaiming Your Narrative
“The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness. We must reclaim the truth about our lovability, divinity, and creativity.” – Brené Brown
Vulnerability is the unappreciated passageway that leads us to love and joy. Why do we dread vulnerability when it leads us to the two things we desire? We let fear of hurt and failure triumph, and we choose to hide and numb ourselves from anything that can make us feel weak. We choose to live disappointed, rather than ever feeling disappointed.
The ambiguity of life sparks a cognitive battle. We fall victim to false assumptions and create flawed stories in order to make sense of things. We fabricate a practical and logical story in order to eliminate any ambiguity. There’s a huge problem with this. We aren’t the rational human beings we believe we are. We build entirely false and misleading narratives constructed by leading emotions and hidden insecurities. The inner critic thrives in this battle and steals our personal narrative.
I dreaded vulnerability. I despised moments of weakness and anything that stripped me of contentment. I guarded myself with limiting beliefs that protected me from failure and criticism. In turn, I was creating a barrier from everything I wanted. I want to grow and learn. I want to love and be loved, to live meaningfully. Being vulnerable opens the door to make all of these possible.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change. It’s also the birthplace of joy, faith, and connection. To create is to make something that has never existed before. There’s nothing more vulnerable than that.” – Brené Brown
By not opening myself up to vulnerability, I was restricting myself from experiencing life wholeheartedly. I was putting limitations on who I could be and what I could accomplish. I wasn’t reaching for the things I truly wanted in life.
My inner critic is overbearing and unapologetic. It’s existence drains my energy, and exhausts me to points of unworthiness and hopelessness. Fighting and silencing the critic can only lead to negative effects of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and addiction. Instead of battling our inner critic, we can engage them. We can listen and acknowledge that our inner critic is attempting to protect us, and we can say, “I’m good, but thanks.” The critics will always be there, internally and externally. It’s our acceptance of their existence and what we choose to do upon listening to them that counts. When we open ourselves to vulnerability, we are able to be courageous. We choose to show up regardless.
“We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both.
Not at the same time.”- Brené Brown
I want to be all in.
I want to embrace life, vulnerability and all. I want to consciously choose everyday to be the author of my life, owning my narrative, acknowledging my fears and criticism, and choosing to be all in anyways.
“It’s not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly . . . who at best knows the triumph
of high achievement and who at worst,
if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
(Theodore Roosevelt, “Citizenship in a Republic” 1910)
Brené Brown is a vulnerability researcher, and constructs an eye-opening view of the power of vulnerability in our lives. The ideas behind this article were inspired by the core of Brené Brown’s research. I highly recommend listening to her captivating and inspirational talks.